ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
