Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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