Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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