ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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