so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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