is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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