I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
