I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
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He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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