Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
