cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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