I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
