I forgot how hot balto sounded
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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