the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize