I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
