guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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