Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
