he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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