you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
