my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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