I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
