i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
