Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
