you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
