SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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