Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
