What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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