dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
