Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh god it's open bar.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
