My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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