3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
