Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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