She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
