party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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