I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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