oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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