Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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