I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
