Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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