dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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