You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
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if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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