worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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