Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
