well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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