I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
