i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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