Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
