And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
