a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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