the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
