I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
