It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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