I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
pray to the hookup gods
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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