It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
