Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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