make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize