if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
